How are you living your life?

What are you living your life from?

CAUSE or EFFECT?

Let me ask you a few questions.

How do you live your life? Do you believe you are the cause of everything in your life, or do you think what happens to you is dependent on those people and circumstances around you? 

What you believe makes all the difference to how you live your life.

Now you might be asking, Beckie – what on earth does living at CAUSE or EFFECT mean?

Well luckily, I’m here to share my thoughts with you! 

Many people throughout their lives, live at EFFECT.  When you’re doing this, you always have somebody else to blame; your boss, your parents, your ex, the economy.  Everyone but you will responsible for everything that’s wrong in your life and frankly, it is much easier to blame someone else than accept personal responsibility. When we live life at EFFECT, we spend a large proportion of our lives responding to the impulses, desires or emotional states of others.  By making it someone else’s problem, gives us a subconscious excuse to accept failure. 

“If only my spouse, my boss, my co-workers, my parents, my children, … understood me and helped me achieve my dreams/did what I wanted/did what is best for me, then life would be great” 

Living this way can impact you in a number of ways: it can make you feel powerless, unhappy and dependent on others. 

If you wait and hope for things to be different or for others to provide, then you are working from EFFECT and will generally be playing the victim of circumstance.

I know how this feels first hand; I’ve lived my life at EFFECT for many years. I still slip into this world every now and again and usually because I allow other people to control how I feel. My emotions are ruled by what other people think and what they say to me, or how they say it.  I have always LOVED to play ‘the victim’. That’s difficult to admit and is a pretty hard pill to swallow; in fact, I almost didn’t write it. However, the first step in moving out of EFFECT and into CAUSE, is knowing that, and admitting to, living your life from EFFECT – then, we need to do something about it.

Believing that someone else is responsible or, indeed making them responsible for your happiness or your different moods, is incredibly limiting. You end up giving these people will have some mystical power over you, which can cause you a great deal of suffering.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you are right”.  This quote by Henry Ford is so true. 

So why  waste our energy on being at EFFECT or we can put our energy into something better!

If you have been living your life from EFFECT you may be feeling a little uncomfortable right now – alternatively, you may be feeling that the last few paragraphs have been a complete eye opener – an ‘AHA’ moment.  Don’t worry though, either way, YOU CAN change it. 

But Bec, how?

Let’s chat about living at CAUSE.

Living at ‘CAUSE’ means that YOU are decisive about creating what you want in life. CAUSE is bright and sunny – who wouldn’t want to be there?

You see the world as a place of constant opportunities, one in which you are in a position to try things out. If certain paths don’t unfold as you would like, then you take action to change the path to alternative direction. You also take responsibility for all the difficult things in life that happen to you, even if they seem to be the fault of others. At the very least, you take responsibility for how you react to those difficulties, be they people or events.

How much better does that sound eh?

Being at CAUSE means that YOU have choices in your life and the POWER to do something about them! 

You can choose what is best for you while ensuring the choice is considerate to those around you. That is, you consider the consequences of your actions on others, whilst not taking responsibility for their emotional well-being; believing you are responsible for the emotional well-being of someone else places a heavy burden on you and can cause a great deal of stress. They are in control of how they choose to feel and react. 

Who’s been there? I know I have!

Every time we push away from living in CAUSE, we miss the opportunity to learn and create something different to really get what we want. We are giving the power to somebody else… we are giving the power of our lives to somebody else! How crazy is that!. Do you really want to be living like that?

Of course, when things are going well for you, it is easy to be at CAUSE, and be aware of our responsibility for the results we get. 

But let’s chat about how it feels when something bad happens. 

Generally, this is when we point our feelings out to everyone. When we come up with all the reasons why “this bad thing” is happening to us; ‘Oh here we go again, what shit is the world going to chuck at me now’ – you know those sorts of thoughts?

So next time something bad happens, ask yourself, “In what way have I influenced this situation to make this happen or to make me feel how I do? What’s my contribution? What have I allowed? What can I learn from this now, and what can I do different, or better, in the future to avoid it? 

Now some people might get on their high horse with this concept but anything that we experience good or bad, will have been influenced in some way shape or form, by our thoughts, actions or behaviours.  

The minute we accept that the sum of our choices, both conscious and unconscious have led us to where we are today, that’s the minute we are living at CAUSE.  And at CAUSE our “state” i.e. our current mood, emotions and energy levels are incredibly different to when we are at EFFECT

So, before I leave you with this thought provoking BOMBSHELL, let me ask you these questions:  

Which side are you on? 

Who’s in control of your life? 

Who’s in charge of the results you produce? 

Are you the pilot, or the passenger in your life? 

There are no unresourceful people, only unresourceful states. Change your state. Change your life. 

It’s time to start being the PILOT, it’s time to start taking charge, it’s time to live in CAUSE!

Happy Sunday 

Bec x

Ps. If this blog has shifted something with in please don’t hesitate to get in contact with me, I am SO passionate about this and would love to help you shift from EFFECT to CAUSE! 

www.youmindsetcoaching.com

rebecca@youmindsetcoaching.com

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